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All 41 game Reviews


Wheel Clicker 2 Wheel Clicker 2

Rated 2 / 5 stars

Kinda fun, but it ends on a screamer, which is regrettable.



Toss the Turtle Toss the Turtle

Rated 5 / 5 stars

When turtles fly...

Love this shit, love it, you've come far RomanClock.
It plays a lot like the classic Nanaca Crash game, but offers a lot more content and much better graphics (all drawn very stylishly).
One very effective method is just to buy a jet-pack and an automatic weapon, and to shoot whilst using the jet-pack, goes without saying though.

I've encountered a few odd situations though.
1: I ended up juggling on a UFO for a good 30 seconds or though, because I ended up going the same speed as one. But the UFO eventually disappeared!
2: I somehow went through a spiked fence, stopped right afterwards though.
3: I fell from the sky so fast I was caught in the underneath of a UFO

Still, I love this game, even if it's hardly original, great job.


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Volley Spheres v2 Volley Spheres v2

Rated 3 / 5 stars

A fun game with a good engine, that falls short.

Immediately what comes to mind when I play this is that the engine is very good, you can hit the ball from many angles and this makes it very effective, sadly this came features many problems that take any a lot of the potential enjoyment.

1: The CPU is insanely difficult to beat, near impossible to defeat, slow it down a little perhaps? Or:

2: The small playing field, where each side of the playing field is so narrow, the ball bounces back too soon, this makes it too easy for either person to get the back ball, MAKE THIS WIDER, for the love of god.

3: The arrow at the top of the screen indicating the balls position is nowhere near as useful as it should be, the arrow is too small and unnoticeable especially since it overlaps scores. If you wanted to make it much more effective, it should be larged by default, point towards the ball (down to the ball when below, up to the ball when offscreen above) and get larger/small depending on the distance from the ball/arrow, this makes things a lot fairer.

If you could fix these problems the game would be SO much better, they shouldn't even be that hard to fix since the game is so simplistic as it is.



The Impossible Quiz The Impossible Quiz

Rated 5 / 5 stars

Because this game pisses me off to no end.

I'm writing every single answer here.

1: Four
2: No but a tin can
3: K.o
4: Click the text "The answer" above the questions.
5: Easy, move your mouse around the window.
6: Shallots
7: An elephant
8: Mouse around, look for a green tick labeled Yes!
9: Top right button
10: Teeth
11: n
12: Click the dot in the i in "Click"
13: F'taang
14: Torch
15: Type "Horse"
16: H (Seventh, get it?)
17: Click the circled 17.
18: Click the hammer.
19: BOGGY - Blue Orange Green Green Yellow
20: Seal!
21: Top left button
22: +1 skip
23: Bran
24: Click the V in Lives
25: Shoe polish
26: Arsefacey
27: Goto 28
28: Abundance (a bun dancing)
29: Egg Mayonnaise
30: Just move it normally like those other games.
31: Woof Woof Woof
32: Babycham and human faeces
33: Seven
34: Take your mouse off the screen and wait.
35: Wait for another button to click
36: A walk.
37: Of course not.
38: Mary Rose
39: Cylindrical Adventures
40: Right click for the "bridge"
41: Click the "Afro"
42: Click the 42nd number, bottom row.
43: Tom Cruise
44: Move the pieces, find a small button (or tab on your keyboard)
45: Top right button
46: OGMF U KILLS SONIKKU
47: Just move your mouse till you click it.
48: Snaaaake!
49: Splapp-me-do
50: O.k.
51: Just click them both a few times.
52: Carrot is the third leaf.
53: "Ma might", but pa might not.
54: No, about 20cm off the ground.
55: A games console for wholemeal biscuits.
56: Click the buttons in this order: Blue Red Blue Yellow
57: Erm...one?
58: Shepherds pie.
59: Click the shoop da wooper like mad.
60: Yes!
61: Click the thumbs up
62: Click the moss (failure to pronounce S)
63: Tasteless white filth
64: Egg>28
65: Click the word "Largest"
66: Click the exclamation mark at the end of the question (!!!)
67: A big hairy arsonist
68: Stroke the kitty.
69: lol, 69
70: Using it's anus.
71: Click when green
72: Look for a light switch
73: Top right button
74: No one knows that
75: Click "Escape" under the number 75 when it appears.
76: Click sugar, then honey, then honey.
77: Question 77
78: Four
79: Click the "u" in "What do you mean?"
80: Filthy Romanians
81: Rub the pole up and down
82: Hurry up and click each toenail.
83: National Dyslexic Association
84: It's a game, you have a chance to grab some skips here. In fact you need to grab both of them.
85: I loved it!
86: The Prince
87: In the circle 87, click the invisible dot.
88: Click sonic's leg to break it.
89: Blindness
90: Nonce
91: You can tear the paper from left to right, mouse over the first tear.
92: Click 194, 27, 26, 14, 9, 3, 25, 1, 04 (DON'T SKIP)
93: Click the bomb and drag it to reveal the next button
94: Do nothing.
95: Move cursor off screen, wait for cat to chase fly
96: A right mess
97: +10 times
98: Click the words Blue, red, blue, yellow. The colour of the text means nothing.
99: Click the sign when the lights turn green
100: two
101: Type chihuahua
102: Just another game, when a small square appears, don't touch anything.
103: Search, it's easy to find the tomato. (Or tab)
104: Click the bottom right shape, the sad yellow moon.
105: Mouse over and type Banana out of some of the letters, search for them.
106: Hard mouse game, but don't use a skip.
107: Mouse over "I am ignore u", it was say game over, don't do anything and it will continue to the next question.
108: Type in the lost numbers WITH spaces. 4 8 15 16 23 42
109: click the monkey as quickly as possible, click it poops, click the arrow in the poop.
110: This question basically requires you have kept ALL your skips, or you can't win.

And there you have it, that's how you win this absolutely fucking annoying "game", it's annoying as all hell but DAMN is it addictive and challenging, but most of the time it just doesn't have a rational answer that you can give. So yeah, you do have to play it over and over again, sometimes you'll just smile because of some of the extremely clever ones too though.

But really, I don't think you'll find a sense of accomplishment in this game, at all seeing as how it's too damn difficult to even do some of the tasks at times.


This review is insanely well received!

The Expert's Guide to NG The Expert's Guide to NG

Rated 1 / 5 stars

Hooray, information taken from the FAQ...

I'm sorry but this was lack-luster and at times the information was poorly presented and based purely on opinion rather than fact.

This is ALL stuff that can be found in the FAQs and as such the information in there is far more accurate than this is, and more fair, your listed rules for reviewing don't even cover all of the guidelines.

The quizzes are absolute jokes, especially the B/p one that says you should vote 5 because someone popular or from a crew submitted a movie, and then blam someone from another crew (Banana_Clock)

I mean come on, you're telling people how to vote, you can't do that!
You might think that by telling people this that you're helping them, but you're just damaging the voting system on Newgrounds which already dodgy because of stat-whores.

As far as the design goes it's not very appealing, most of the time it's literally just boring repeating backgrounds of downloaded images from wherever with times new roman text over it, there's no coherent shape or format, it's just randomly dropped onto the frame. :\

And the music is just a choice of songs you liked, some of them don't hold too much relevance to Newgrounds.

I advise you don't even attempt to improve this, there are ENOUGH flash movies on here telling people information in the FAQs, it's absolutely asinine...

You can however work on your design skills, there are lots of ways to improve the appearance of your information, for starters it's a good thing that you've got very readable text, but it doesn't look too nice, simple things like a nice modern font like Arial on a semi-transparent shape like a rounded rectangle over a background is a good improvement for example, as well has providing borders for each individual button.

Don't give up on making flash, but avoid re-doing existing ideas like this one.


highwatermark responds:

Well thanks for your opinion, and sorry that it's too stat-whorish.


Newgrounds Hold'em Newgrounds Hold'em

Rated 5 / 5 stars

A great NG version of a good card game. :)

It's been a while since I've looked at one of Denvish's games, and he's done superbly well this time in a simple card game!

Anyway I don't fully understand how the game is played but I think I've figured it out now, you get 6 sets of two cards and you have to bet on which'll have the best hand, after more cards are dealed, if you understand Poker hands I think you'll understand it a lot faster.

So graphically, this is superb it's amazing how everything looks incredibly relevent to the current NG theme, it's baffling, the card sets are very nice too, one criticism however would be that the featured images on them are a tad too small, could be a lot wider and a bit taller, but nevermind.

The sound is brilliantly done, you get to choose from 5 awesome songs and some ambience in the background that seriously adds to the mood, you can set a lot of things.

And the gamplay? Almost no bugs, incredibly fun and no irritating parts of gameplay, it plays just like I'd want a Casino game to. :)

Seriously Denvish, you've done a superb job here and you should be proud, and I'd also like to say thanks for making ME, the 7 of <3! :D
Also for using my Strawberry, Apple, Orange and RaspberryClock FLA files from the library, haha.

One more thing that should be considered in future updates, if you go bust and accidently start a new game, you can't reset without refreshing the window because you've started a new game with no money, this needs to be fixed like not letting you touch the deal button at the end of a game, when you have less than 10 cents, haha.


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Terri Irwin's REVENGE Terri Irwin's REVENGE

Rated 4 / 5 stars

Good game, but would Steve really want this?

As well all know, Steve was a fantastic man with a passion for nature, especially that of Crocodiles, who's life was tragically ended by an accident involving a Stingray whilst filming a documentary about them, but we all need to pause for a second and think, Steve loved animals so much and he knew the dangers of having his life revolve around many dangerous ones...

Steve wouldn't want anybody to take vengance or prejudice on Stingrays just because one was his death, it was most likely in self defence because the poor man got too close, he would want his passion to live on and for people to realise that these are animals we're talking about, they don't have the intelligence of humans to kill without reason.

With that said, time to actually review this nicely made game.
So you've got your basic shooting-scrolling flash game, you find plenty of these here on newgrounds but this one actually has something to enjoy about it with an actual degree of difficulty, and no limitless bullets, there's actually a realistic pause between shots, thank heaven for that!

Naturally, the enemy of the game is the sting ray (after all, revenge and shit.) but the pleasent twist is that you get two kinds of enemies and a boss to fight against, and the enemies even conform to a timeline, in that you can perfect your timing and aim for the high score, with a few waves and stragedies to figure out.

The controls handled well, naturally you moved slow in water and bullets fire fine, one criticism may be that the pause between shots is too long to be able to keep up with the wave of fast moving, non shooting stingrays, but it's not horrifically short either so thankfully with the slow movement and bullet restrictions you get some REAL difficulty that makes this game fun.

One commonly used feature in these games is the use of smart bombs which wipe the area clean, this game twists the idea a little and implements "Croc bombs" that summons a crocodile to tween about the screen and kill every stingray it touches, Crikey! Save them for those huge waves of enemies you can't keep up with, and time them right to hit as many as possible! (The movement is always the same)

The let down however is the games overly simplistic graphics, graphics are easily acceptable but fall short with some rough edges visable on artwork and little animation, the stingrays literally don't move, they move left on your screen, at least until you meet the King of all Stingrays.

Don't let you stop you from enjoying this game though, if I get bored I might give this another shot and try to beat the boss this time, I'm interested to see the ending (after all, the game over screen is funny in a somewhat sadistic way.)

R.I.P. - Steve Irwin, the crocodile hunter.
1942 - 2006

Crikey!


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Scribble! Scribble!

Rated 3.5 / 5 stars

Stop ripping off Nintendo, seriously.

First you ripped off Wario Ware's 3 second minigame engine, and now you ripped off the connect the dots minigame from Kirby DS, for gods sakes.

Still, not badly done, but not well done either, having to do everything in a singlestroke is a real piss take when I try to do this on my tablet, and if a quick demonstration of the direction of the line was shown before we draw (like on Kirby's DS minigame) that would make things a lot easier because the number system makes things hard to see, otherwise, not a bad game, but the scribbler level thing at the end? It's not everyday you get to use a HTML code and all, that I like.

I reckon I should play this a bit more, it might be good practice for my tablet.


People find this review helpful!
jmtb02 responds:

Well, we could all draw conclusions that this game looks like another game, but then could we blame Nintendo for ripping off the creator of connect-the-dots? Lets think about this for a moment.

What I don't quite understand is why everyone is so bent on games that function similar to other games. Granted, that their have been a million platformers and that there have been even more racing games, but we continue to say "oh, this game looks like another, its rubbish!"

Given, Johnny Rocketfingers functioned just like the old LucasArts games, or that Dad'n'Me was just like the beatem ups that preceded it. You got to realize that games are going to be like other games, whether you like it or not. Sure, there is originality in this world, and I try to put them in my games at all expense as much as I can. But when one tiny characteristic of a game fits another, people feel pissed. Sure, I have seen that kirby drawing game, but was it the same game? Try playing it again, and tell me what you think. If anything, creativity is being compromised now that people worry about everything they put into their game being a rip-off of something else.

Yes, Four Second Frenzy/Fury was in the same genre of microgaming as Wariowares, but to blame the entire game as a "Nintendo Ripoff" is a bit much, right? Just because the games were each short, does not mean I ripped off the games directly, or made an effort to emulate every single game play style. I wanted so badly not to have that game series compared to Wariowares, but yet, it still happens. And if the games were one minute long, they would be compared to Mario Party. And even longer, and they would be compared to even more games.

I guess I just wanted to show you the pickle I am in. Where am I to go when I get so many reviews that I am ripping other games off? I'm not trying to lecture you are anything, but just to let you see my perspective on all of this.

-jmtb02


Flash Introduction Flash Introduction

Rated 5 / 5 stars

I have to give credit for this tutorial.

It was this exact tutorial that got me started in flash animation, no more, no less.

After learning how to tween, I experimented with everything else and learnt how to be a good animator, kudos.

All this tutorial really needs is a little updating, although it still beats most of the crappy tutorials present today!



ExTreme ClOck SoUndboArd ExTreme ClOck SoUndboArd

Rated 0.5 / 5 stars

I have a better soundboard...

It's called Speakonia, and it has an unlimited number of soundclips which I can modify freely. >_>;;

Seriously, I hate soundboards, but to make a soundboard out of digitally created voices is, lazy... ANYBODY could do it, and asides from that, the rest wasn't any good either.

For one, the Graphic User Interface is nothing pretty to look at, a bad use of colours, buttons thrown anywhere on the menu.

And another problem is the extras, it consists of JUST 4 pictures from the clockcrew.

Seriously, a pretty bad job, the voices don't even sound like StrawberryClock.


Frenzy responds:

1'st Paragraph:

Yes, it's called Speakonia (duh). Great. You can modify them freely.

2'nd Paragraph:

Well, it's to bad you hate soundboards. It's not lazy to create a soundboard out of digitally created voices. A lot of wrk goes into making one of these, and (pretty much) obviously you don't understand that. I used Speakonia because then people can have waht they want, when they want. Not anybody could do it, it requires some certain talent. Also, I wanted all fo the sounds in one soundboard, so people wouldn't have to type them out hurriedly; they already have them.

3'rd Paragraph:

The colurs are really just personal opinion. I was going to divide the various sounds into categories, but then I wanted to put more sounds in, and I didn't want to make then widnow to big, so I just didn't. Also, the buttons weren't really thrown anywhere on the menu.

4'th Paragraph:

Yes, I know I should have included more extras; I admit to that (sorry about that, everyone). I just didn't really have the time!

5'th Paragraph:

Considering, a quote written by you, 'I hate soundboards', it's kind of obvious that you are not going to like this soundboard, or any otehr one, fi you are serious that you hate them. I made the voices not sound like Strabweery Clock because there are already some Strawberry Clock soundboards out there. Too bad that you didn't like it.